Quotes: First Season

Added: April 25, 1999
Last Updated: July 24, 2008

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"I hate baseball. Slow games make eternity seem so much longer." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"Filthy habit - at least I know it can't kill me." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"The light's dark, I am the owner, and I find I am able to mix it with a little wine." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"You know Myra - binging one minute, purging the next." For I Have Sinned - Episode 3

"If I'd known, I'd have offered her my decorater." Last Act - Episode 4

"Are you ready to be conquered?" Dance By the Light of the Moon - Episode 5

"I was wrong - you do have good taste." False Witness - Episode 7

"Ten seconds, he's dead!" Cherry Blossoms - Episode 8

"You didn't. You know this power has to be controlled!" I Will Repay - Episode 9

"He does look like your father." Dead Air - Episode 10

"Don't do that in front of me." Hunters - Episode 11

"That was the correct answer." Dead Issue - Episode 12

"Couldn't we at least take him for a meal?" Father Figure - Episode 13

"Nick practically flew all over London for this." Father Figure - Episode 13

"It may just be a rumor, but if you'd hang out with your own kind more - you'd have heard it too." Unreality TV - Episode 17

"It's your neck." Feeding the Beast - Episode 18

"They dance like Father Time was shooting bullets at their feet. Which, - I suppose, he is ..." If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19

"Your mid-life crisis is at least a millennium away." If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19

"Don't worry. I sent them out to play." Love You to Death - Episode 22

"You believe they put a guy like this in homicide? Falls apart when he sees a little salsa picante?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"Around - What's around?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

Mechanic: "Look at that bumper."
Schanke: "That's the Ferrari I took out. Never seen a grown man get so angry."
Mechanic: "That fender?"
Schanke: "Red truck."
Mechanic: "Door?"
Schanke: "Lincoln Towncar."
Mechanic: "Rear fender and bumper?"
Schanke: "It totally escapes me why someone would leave a 30 foot cabin cruiser on their front lawn." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Sure he looks good in leather, he's got the blond hair and all ..." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Addictions are hard to give up." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

<Nick is dangling the murderer out of the window>
Schanke: "Bring him back inside!"
Nick: "He doesn't deserve to live, Schanke!"
Schanke: "Nick, you solved this thing! Besides, think of the paperwork if you drop him!" Last Act - Episode 4

"Excuse me, Knight, but I wasn't the one with high-heel puncture marks on my tongue!" Dance By the Light of the Moon - Episode 5

"While you were skinny dipping by the light of the moon ..." Dance By the Light of the Moon - Episode 5

"A tanned vampire - what a jerk." False Witness - Episode 7

"That's your neck of the woods, isn't it?" I Will Repay - Episode 9

"It happened when I was a rookie ..." Dead Air - Episode 10

"You go right for his throat, know what I mean?" Hunters - Episode 11

"What is it you're wearing, Doctor, Eau De Formaldehyde?" Father Figure - Episode 13

"Have you been to a barbecue or something?" Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"I can't believe how often he does this to me. - Creep." If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19

"This investigation is not going to stop when the sun comes up!" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"It's just a legend." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"... with suicide I already know who did it." Last Act - Episode 4

"You're worried about what your kid's going to think of you in twenty years?? Schanke, it's four o'clock in the morning!" False Witness - Episode 7

"Give it up, Tony! You've nowhere to go!" Dead Issue - Episode 12

"Tow truck." Fatal Mistake - Episode 20

"How's your tan coming?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"Have you checked yourself in the mirror? Is it working?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"Your favorite Medical Examiner wants you to eat something this evening, understand?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"If you're a good boy, I might even let you take me to dinner sometime." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"It is the blood that keeps you from coming over." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I'll just close the blinds for you, and you can go back to your Bela Lugosi film. Maybe he can give you a few tips." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"You know - you could go public with this. 'Blood suckers as public servants, next on Geraldo' - excuse me, he's probably already exhausted that subject!" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"The heat from the fire sucked up - the blood from this body." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"You were right. She died of terror - sheer unmitigated terror." For I Have Sinned - Episode 3

"Old friend takes on a whole new meaning with you." Last Act - Episode 4

"Here, drink this." Dying to Know You - Episode 6

"I've never asked you for anything - but this!" I Will Repay - Episode 9

"Natalie's Bed and Breakfast." Father Figure - Episode 13

"I've got places to go, people to disect." Father Figure - Episode 13

"What the hell - you - you were dead a minute ago!" Only the Lonely - Episode 16

"You're so cold." Only the Lonely - Episode 16

"It's the oldest trick in the book. Use this, look like that." If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19

"He can't remember, he just can't remember." If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19

"Will somebody shoot me? Please?" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I've done a little amateur grave digging in my time." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"The 1962 Cadillac has more trunk space than any car made in the last 30 years." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I am what I am, and I don't think Betty Ford takes vampires." Dark Knight - Episode 1

Natalie: "Is this the same guy that came to me begging me to help him change so he could see the sunrise?"
Nick: "Screw the sunrise. Give me the bottle!" Dark Knight - Episode 1

"Yea, Nick Knight. I'm either in bed or incommunicado. *beep*" Nick's machine - Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I kissed her ... and then I nearly killed her." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"LaCroix was my master... The vampire that brought me over." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I couldn't kill anymore." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Well, it's a little bit cramped, but you can't beat the rent!" Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"... I'll wait until I can sink my teeth into something." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Immortality is no excuse not to floss." For I have Sinned - Episode 3

"It's Alma." For I Have Sinned - Episode 3

"It burns, but not as badly." For I Have Sinned - Episode 3

"And again, and again, and again, if we have time ..." Last Act - Episode 4

Schanke: "What'd I miss?"
Natalie: "Only the middle ages."
Schanke: "Damn! Were they funny?"
Nick: "I enjoyed them." Last Act - Episode 4

"This is what I am." Dying to Know You - Episode 6

"But you didn't actually see it!" False Witness - Episode 7

"You did not see this." Cherry Blossoms - Episode 8

"That's what partners are for." Hunters - Episode 11

"Why do I get the feeling that I've put him in the wrong cage?" Hunters - Episode 11

"Police work isn't like what you see on TV." Father Figure - Episode 13

"Drive - just drive." Spin Doctor - Episode 14

"What time is it, what day is it, what century is it?" Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"To my health." Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"Actually, I was with the Grateful Dead." Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"I'm with the band." Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"Lots of ketchup." Feeding the Beast - Episode 18

"I think I'll show her what back sliding really is!" Feeding the Beast - Episode 18

"We are all hostages here." 1966 - Episode 21

"It's ... delicious ..." 1966 - Episode 21

"The Nightcrawler's waiting for you." Dark Knight - Episode 1

"I thought we might talk over a midnight snack." Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Who needs to kill?" Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Is this someone I should meet?" Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Which do you want to save? The cup - or the girl?" Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"Fire, a stake through the heart, the sun, all these will do it, my friend... and one more... decapitation!" Dark Knight: The Second Chapter - Episode 2

"I taught Nero the tune, and together we watched Rome burn." I Will Repay - Episode 9

"They are hunters as accomplished as we." Hunters - Episode 11

"I say we should roast him over a fire." Father Figure - Episode 13

"I love the free food!" Unreality TV - Episode 17

"You were just leaving. Weren't you?" Fatal Mistake - Episode 20

"Good. Hate is a step in the right direction." Love You to Death - Episode 22

"You are very skilled with your sword, Sir. Would you like to run me through again?" Erica - Last Act - Episode 4

"Everyone should fear revenge." Old Chinese Man - Cherry Blossoms - Episode 8

"Ever kill anybody?" Lisa - Father Figure - Episode 13

"I guess that's why I didn't ... crescendo." Rebecca - Dying For Fame - Episode 15

"You think you know someone--" Tawney Teller - Unreality TV - Episode 17

"Recovery is just the space between fixes." Monica Howard - Feeding the Beast - Episode 18

"It's too much work being young." Bernice - If Looks Could Kill - Episode 19